I AM the White Rabbit

"I'm late! I'm late! For a very important date! No time to say hello, goodbye! I'm late! I'm late! I'm late!"

- The White Rabbit as voiced by Bill Thompson in Disney's 1951 animated version of Alice in Wonderland (more about Alice in Wonderland).

Yeah, my TMI Tuesday post is late. Again. So be it. You can call me Ms. Rabbit from now on, please and thank you. 

TMI Tuesday: January 31, 2012

Super Bowl Sunday Celebration

Even if their team is not going to the Super Bowl, millions of people love an excuse to party. So party we will. Tell us what your ideal Super Bowl Celebration (or any sports party) looks like by answering:

1. What’s your favorite _____ that you’ll serve at the party (name one item for each):

a. choice of beer - Dogfish Head 90 Minute IPA

b. choice of wine - R.H. Phillips Toasted Head Chardonnay (available at this online wine store or this online wine store)

c. choice of distilled spirit - Knob Creek Bourbon (more about bourbon) (purchase at this online liquor store, this online liquor store, this online liquor store, or this online liquor store)

d. choice of mixed drink - Margarita, Bloody Mary (my personal Bloody Mary recipe), or White Russian (my personal White Russian recipe)

e. choice of chip - white corn tortilla chips

f. choice of dip - queso (medium), crab dip, spinach/artichoke/cheese dip

g. choice of take-out food (pizza, burgers, Chinese food, wings, etc) - gourmet pizza

h. choice of homemade food - ribs on the grill

i. choice of salty food - cheddar & sour cream potato chips

j. choice of sweet food - red velvet cupcakes

2. What will you wear at the party? 

Jeans and a wife-beater style tank top that says something cute across the chest, barefoot, pigtails, boyshorts and a bra that makes my tits look spectacular, of course. Alas, I haz no pics but I swear sometime soon I will get a good camera and grace you with my pretty image. Or not. We'll see. ;P

In the meantime, here's an example of the kind of tank top I might wear:

3. You will be having your very own half time show at the football party. What is that half-time show? Briefly describe. 

Pole-dancing class with demos from the instructor then all the students (female and male) must attempt the moves they've been shown.

4. What team do you wish was playing in the Super Bowl? 

I don't have to wish. My team is playing. I'm a Pats fan all the way, baby! Witwoo! \o/

5. The NY Giants and New England Patriots are in Super Bowl 2012, who do you want to win?  (ummm…yeah, I had to google that info…LOL)

THE PATS, DUH! I just said that, ffs. C'mon, y'all. Get with the program! 

Bonus: Have you ever made a football (or Super Bowl) bet that involved sex? Tell us about your own Super Bowl of Sex. 

Unfortunately, no. Now I have some interesting ideas though. *grins*

Bonus Bonus: Will you watch the Super Bowl? Do you even care about the Super Bowl? American football at all? What’s your can’t live without sport?

I might. A little. A little. Skateboarding, snowboarding, big-wave surfing.

I've got the goods! New poem numero uno (with audio)!

Sooo... I bet you've been wondering where the fuck I've been, right? Well . . . here, there, everywhere but have no fear, I'm back now and with all the goodies you've been waiting for. First up is a slightly cheeky poem filled with innuendo that I wrote for kicks one day. It surprised me with its subtle power (yes, that's oxymoronic or some such shit - sue me!) and grace. It's filled with lust without ever spelling out the delivery of the goods. A great tease, if I do say so myself. Check it out and excuse the cold in the audio recording. *facepalms*

.

 No Small Thing

The hotness of your breath

as it creates fresh dew upon  my neck

is no small thing.

Your hands --

so strong, so big --

are no small thing

as they grip my shaking thighs.

And then, of course,

it's no small thing

when you pound me

with your eyes.

When your lips finally touch mine

the divine occurs and

no,

it is no small thing.

copyright 2011 Katherine Andrews

And you thought I was gonna say "that's all she wrote, folks," right??? HA! Another blog post coming up momentarily :P

- Kake

No Small Thing by KakeDastardly

Better Late than Never... Right??? TMI Tuesday Questions & Answers

TMI Tuesday (Yeah, yeah, yeah - I know it's Wednesday. I'm late, sue me)! 


Stop Making Sense! (This week's questions)


1. If you were a car, which one would you be? What are some of your best features?
A 1960s Alfa Romeo Spider - candy apple red. Spider's of that era are one of my favorite cars; their lines and curves are very fluid and feminine; their headlights look like girly eyes; and red is my fave color. Plus, how can you have that car and get it in any other color? C'mon now. Spare me.

2. If I gave you an elephant where would you hide it?
I wouldn't bother. I mean, ffs, the thing is huge and I don't even drive, much less have a vehicle to transport it in. Therefore, I'd just stick it in the backyard where I could enjoy it and play with it and vice verse. So what if my uber-bitchy next-door neighbor whines a bit? We have ways of making people stay quiet, me and my elephant do.


3. Finish this sentence: Tomorrow I absolutely refuse to….
let the bastards get me down. 


4. What is the longest period of time that you’ve gone without a shower?
This is so friggin' embarassing. Shit. A fucking week or maybe like eight days. *facepalms*


5. What is the silliest prank you ever played on someone?
FuckifIknow. I'm not much of a prankster. 


Bonus: What is the best piece of gossip that you heard recently?
Oh, yanno, just that rumor bought me getting laid. Oh, wait, that was just my toys who did that to me. Sometimes they have a mind of their own so it gets confusing, yanno? 


And . . . it's that time folks. Last call. Closing time. The fat lady has sung and now you have to get your fat asses outa here! <3 

It's Sunday Stealing time! YAY!

Holy fuck,  it's been forever and a coupla days since I posted. I'm so sorry, y'all. Been going through some stuff in my real life but have no fear, I'm around and as always, you can reach me a variety of ways, including via email at katelynndastardly@gmail.com if I haven't told ya that before. Since my life is still sort of in unpheaval, I don't know how much regularity I'll be posting with. I will definitely be posting more often than in the last couple of months but how much more often, I cannnot say. Anyway...


Onto the good stuff. You all know me and my blog memes. And you're familiar with Sunday Stealing, where the authors steal memes from other blogs (doesn't everyone steal from everyone anyway, at some time or another, to some extent)? So, that's what we're about to do. Today's Sunday Stealing is from the blogger and blog, BlueLifeMemories. Today's inquiries are titled under the heading The Blue Memory Meme and there are eight million and twelve questions, so I best get to it, huh? Okay, so only 25 questions but you know me and questions. Le sigh. Alrighty then, let's do this thing.


And with no further ado, I now present you with . . .




The Blue Memory Meme Part One


1) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?


Live and love raw and fierce, always creating.


2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

ON this earth? Hmm... That's a toughie. OOH! James Franco - brains and beauty, who could ask for anything more? ;)

3) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

Australia 

4) What do you think about most?

Sex, duh. *rolls my eyes*

5) You have the opportunity to spend a romantic night with the music celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

Um, I think we already covered this with the James Franco thing, duh. *more eye-rolling*


6) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

Nothing. Every experience gives me an opportunity to learn, so even the bad experiences have the opportunity for some good to come out of them. Not to mention, every experience I've had, negative and positive, has molded me into the woman I am today and gosh darnit if most days I'm not a little in love with her, at least. So, no. Nothing, that's what it will be.

7) What's your strangest talent?

Opening twist-off beers with my toes.

8) What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on?

Shiiiit. I don't really know. I can't think of anything off the top of my head but I'm also scared shitless of everything in a way so I'm sure one could easily come up with a question that meets that criteria, I just couldn't tell ya what it is, at this moment. 


*Sidebar: maybe I shouldn't have smoked a lil somethin'-somethin' before I did this?*

9) Ever had a poem or song written about you?

Yes. And that's all I have to say about that.


10) When is the last time you played the air guitar?

Yesterday? It was to Pete Doherty's live introduction of the Babyshambles song, "Beg, Steal, or Borrow" on this Brit show hosted by Jonathon Ross.


11) Do you have any strange phobias?

Too many to count. I KID! I KID! I do panic over small OCD shit though.


12) What's your religion?


I don't believe in organized religion but I am spiritual. I believe in reverance. 


13) What is your current desktop picture? 


Mark Ruffalo. Black and white. Shirtless. Le sigh. *swoons*


14) When you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

drinking and dancing ftw! \o/

15) What's the last song you listened to?

"Left of the Dial," The Replacements

16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

I can't pick one. DAMNIT TO HELL! Why do y'all try me like this???
I KID! I KID!
Top 10: Beatles, Bob Dylan, The Libertines, Los Campesinos!, The Love Language, The 
Pixies, The Rolling Stones, The Velvet Underground, David Bowie, Louis Armstrong.

17) What was the last lie you told?


That I didn't spend money I owed my brother. :(

18) Do you believe in karma?


Not technically but at the same time, I'm not unopen to its existence, if yanno what I mean?

19) What is a saying you say a lot?


Whatever's clever.

20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?


Greatest weakness: being my own worst enemy.
Greatest strength: believing in myself.
I'm a contradiction in terms. 

21) Who is your celebrity crush?


How many times are we gonna go over this? JAMES MOTHERFUCKING FRANCO. 

22) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word: heart.

Hollow. Wow. Where the FUCK did that come from???


23) How do you vent your anger?

Cry, chainsmoke, write, talk to friends, beat up my punching bag, try to remember to breathe. 

24) Do you have a collection of anything?

Magazines, school/office/art supplies, books galore, more mp3s than you could possibly imagine (a few gigs, if not a terrabyte, maybe), candles, incense, empty wine and liquor bottles, dried flowers and so on and so forth. 


25) What is your favorite word?


Don't have one. Off the top of my head, here are a few: cathartic, evoke, create, harness, elevate, fathom, breathtaking, poignant, bittersweet, melodramatic, semantics, synergy, and so on and so forth.


And that's all she wrote folks! You know what that means! You don't have to go home but ya can't stay here! 


<3

Contemplations On The Art Of Living Life

This is neither a poem, short story, or critical/informative/or analytical essay on either. Nor is it erotic, except that for me, it is what makes erotica that much more of a deeply powerful medium. I guess you could call it an essay or manifesto or personal narrative or give it any of a number of other labels, but I prefer to refrain from limiting it by categorization. It is simply a collection of words, strung together, to express, in some small, inadequate way, my appreciation of life, how I see the act of living, and how I hope to spend each moment in this world. It's also some seriously hippie-ass sounding shit, but so what and so be it. I really haven''t the faintest idea of how to describe this to you, so I will quit attempting to do so, and let it stand on its own. 

Contemplations On The Art Of Living Life

 I see too much, feel too much, love too much. Because of this, my heart breaks a million times a day, because the beauty in this world has the capacity to not only open my heart but to close it, to not only heal me but to wound me to the core, even as I revel in that beauty. Everyday, I fall in love all over again with the infinity of beauty, love, and kindnesss I find in this thing we call life, in spite of the equally overwhelming amount of ugliness, cruelty, and hate we find in it as well. Every moment holds for me the possibility of that overwhelming emotion we call joy - in its most pure, magical, transforming, and awe-inspiring manner. I feel sorry for those who do not see the world as I do, who do seek out and find infinite opportunites for wonder and amazement in life, who are blind to the flowers that grow from the cracks in the pavement, who cannot open themselves up enough to allow humanity's capacity for generousity and kindness to outweigh our seemingly endless capacity for hurt and hatred. I may be continuously disappointed in my fellow man and the construct we've created called society, but I am continuously in awe of the myriad of facets of love and splendor and beauty and wisdom in them as well. I hurt all the time because my eyes are fully open not only to the ugliness of life, but to its unparalelled charm, allure, exquisiteness, and excellence and the fascination that both hold for me. I will never be able to say I'm an ice queen, even though in my weaker moments I may yearn for that jaded, closed, hard kind of strength, as I'm sure it would make the act of living in this world easier. However, I know easier is not better and that I am lucky to be able to love every aspect of the time I have on this plane of existence, that my capacity to see and feel and love so fully, richly, and entirely is a blessing, no matter what pain and heartbreak it carries with it. Yes, the cruelty and inhumanity and hatred and hurt of the worst of mankind outrages and disgusts me, but knowing that the possibility of the opposite of this is present in each and every one of us keeps me from myself succumbing to lure of the very things by which I am outraged and disgusted. We are, each of us, capable as members of the human race, of everything that the best and the worst of us is capable of. I am no better than the worst of us nor no worse than the best of us. In knowing this, it allows me to forgive and to let go, to let the horror that has been inflicted upon me and those I cherish be an opportunity to grow, learn, evolve, and flourish in the face of adversity. When I am able to recognize and accept and honor and embrace this, the monstrosities I've been privy to as I've travelled through life cease to hold me in their grip, lose their power over me, fade to but a memory which I can choose to either let continue to cause me suffering or transform it into an opportunity for awakening. I choose the latter. I will not let this world grind me down. I will always attempt to see each moment as precious and unique and as an opportunity for total and complete bliss. I refuse to close myself off to the infinity of experiences available to me as a human being. I will always see and feel and love too much - as fully and completely as I'm capable of, for even when the beauty of the world wounds me to the core, it is still beauty, and its power and importance and enormity know no bounds. copyright 2011 Katherine Andrews